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Thank you for visiting these W. Somerset Maugham Sayings and Quotes. I hope you find value in these W. Somerset Maugham Quotes and Sayings from my large collection of Inspirational Sayings.
It's a funny thing about life;
if you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- W. Somerset Maugham
Related topics: Life Human-Nature Psychology
Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie 
A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer
Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde
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Thank you, Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When you think you're out of time,
smile, and turn back the clock.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Minds are like parachutes.
They only function when they are open.
- James Dewar
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
Laugh Loud - Laugh Often
Laugh At What's Funny - Laugh At What's Sad
Laugh At Me - Laugh At You - Laugh At Life
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
- Phyllis Diller
When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.
- George Bernard Shaw
When you reach the end of your rope,
tie a knot and hang on.
- Anonymous Saying
(Sometimes attributed to Franklin D. Roosevelt,
Eleanor Roosevelt, or Thomas Jefferson)
Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
- Milton Berle
Normal is in the eye of the beholder.
- Whoopi Goldberg
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill
I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono
Life would be tragic if it weren't funny.
- Stephen Hawking
All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Nothing is so common-place as to wish to be remarkable.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
Why not go out on a limb?
Isn't that where the fruit is?
- Mark Twain
Okay, here's your first lesson: how to take a FALL!
- the movie Karate Kid
We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks-
if we agree with him.
- Mark Twain
A person with a new idea is
a crank until the idea succeeds.
- Mark Twain
When we remember we are all mad,
the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
- Mark Twain
An old friend will help you move.
A good friend will help you move a dead body.
- Jim Hayes
Whenever I feel the need to exercise,
I lie down until it goes away.
- Robert Maynard Hutchins
One day Alice came to a fork in the road
and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree.
"Which road do I take?" she asked.
His responses was a question: "Where do you want to go?"
"I don't know," Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."
- Lewis Carroll
Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore,
and that's what parents were created for.
- Ogden Nash
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- Groucho Marx
The secret of ugliness consists not in irregularity,
but in being uninteresting.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
You are only young once,
but you can stay immature indefinitely.
- Anonymous
You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous
I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel
To fall in love is awfully simple,
but to fall out of love is simply awful.
- Bess Myerson
Times like these, dark times,
they do funny things to people.
They can tear them apart.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)
Big sisters are the crabgrass in the lawn of life.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts cartoon
I'm just preparing my impromptu remarks.
- Winston Churchill
The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once.
- Albert Einstein
I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
- Steve Martin
I refuse to answer that question
on the grounds that I don't know the answer
- Douglas Adams
My life has been filled with terrible misfortune;
most of which never happened.
- Michel Eyquem De Montaigne
When life gets you down -
just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
- Anonymous humor
I love deadlines.
I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
- Douglas Adams
All you need is love.
But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
- Charles M. Schulz
Sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll
I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
- Charles M. Schulz
Always listen to the experts.
They'll tell you what can't be done and why.
Then do it.
- Robert Heinlein
There's a fine line between genius and insanity.
I have erased this line.
- Oscar Levant
Nine-tenths of the people were created
so you would want to be with the other tenth.
- Horace Walpole
You got to be careful if you
don't know where you're going,
because you might not get there.
- Yogi Berra
Old age has deformities enough of its own.
It should never add to them the deformity of vice.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
- W. C. Fields
Love is an endless mystery,
for it has nothing else to explain it.
- Rabindranath Tagore
The road to success is always under construction.
- Anonymous
As to marriage or celibacy, let a man
take which course he will,
he will be sure to repent.
- Socrates
Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor
I truly believe that happiness is possible...
even when you're thirty-three
and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown
Donkey, you HAVE the right to remain silent.
What you lack, is the capacity.
- said by Shrek in the movie Shrek 2
I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times,
always with the same person.
- Germaine Greer
I have a very pessimistic view of life.
You should know this about me if we're gonna go out.
You know, I - I feel that life is -
is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
Those are the two categories, you know.
The - the horrible would be like, um,
I don't know, terminal cases, you know,
and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life.
It's amazing to me. You know, and the miserable is everyone else.
That's - that's - so - so - when you go through life -
you should be thankful that you're miserable
because you're very lucky to be miserable.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth
or burn down your house, you can never tell.
- Joan Crawford
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
When you're drowning, you don't say,
"I would be incredibly pleased if someone
would have the foresight to notice
me drowning and come and help me,"
you just scream.
- John Lennon
The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett
I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
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Thank you, Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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